My trip to Wal-Mart

Discussion in 'Public General Chat' started by kviolet84, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. kviolet84
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    TRIP TO WAL-MART

    Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant?

    So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.

    I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass, and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack -- he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
     
  2. Neptuno
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    I've seen this before, but it was just as funny this time around.
     
  3. Roch The Shaman
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    lol that was a good story, i also went to walmart last night and as soon as i got to the checkout the lady walked over signed out and went off i just sat there flabbergasted
     
  4. EF2
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    pwnt

     
  5. Ironjaw
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    Thats the quality of people you get at walmart. Non union retail ftl.
     
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  6. Blasphemy
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    Here's your sign...
     
  7. Roch The Shaman
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    lol they are lucky there isnt another place to shop around my house or i would go there =P

    i mean not being at your post is one thing but when you see someone walking up and you walk over sign out and then leave is another
     
  8. Grumble
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    I LOL'd :D
     
  9. BuzzBuzzYolk
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  10. The Cox
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    rofl too funny
     
  11. Grumble
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    Yeah! A union employee would've told you to fuck off as well!
     
  12. Roch The Shaman
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    lol
     
  13. Neptuno
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    cause unions are helping our country so much these days... they've become bloated and self-serving and should also be told to fuck off too. notice how non-union companies are doing better in the current economy

    and in retail, if its time to leave, then gtfo before another customer traps you there for how ever long it takes to ring them up and another tries to hop in line behind them
     
  14. EpyonNext
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    you sir, have wit.

    I approve.
     
  15. confidenceb122
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    Lol, I have read this before, still funny...
     

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