It's story time, childfren. Gather 'round!

Discussion in 'Public General Chat' started by Secksy, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. Secksy
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    THIS STORY IS COMPLETELY TRUE! I SWEAR TO GOD!
    WARNING: This story is hilarious, but graphic. People who are easily squeamish probably shouldn't read this.


    So, I was hanging out at Gamestop today, using their internet to play Echoes of Time online, chatting up with the employees (who are some pretty cool dudes). So, about an hour into me being there this nurse comes in and starts talking with one of the employees. She mentions (as she is a scrub nurse) that she likes blood, and as such, surgery games for the Wii and DS.

    So now we're all kinda of talking, and some how we got on to the topic of strange surgeries she's had. And she said, 'As a matter of fact today, we had to remove a gerbil from this guys butt.'

    Now, me being me, I immediately burst into a fit of laughter. This has got to be the most absurd thing I have ever heard.

    Matt, one of the employees, is just aghast, and disgusted, and asks, 'How did he get it up there?'

    She says, 'He put a bong up his, you know, anus, and had a friend roll a nut into it. The gerbil went after the nut and after it was inside they removed the bong.'

    Matt asks, 'Why did he do it?'

    'For the pleasure of it.'

    I'm laughing harder than I have in a long while. I couldn't believe that someone actually stuck a gerbil up their ass.

    Now, here's the kicker; the gerbil, being an animal of instinct of course, tried to claw its way out. And ended up in his intestines, where it inevitably died.

    The nurse, whose name I forgot to ask, sadly, said the best part about it was watching the guy explain it to his wife, who was his emergency contact.
     
  2. The Communist
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    This is why my perception of the average joe is so poor.
     
  3. Deadend
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    bah they got the idea from Southpark. if your going to do something stupid at least do something original.
     
  4. Arelan
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    Surgery games for the Wii and DS? There's only Trauma Center, lol :p
    But yeah that's straight outta South Park. Dumbasses XD
     
  5. chrisbeebops
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    QFT

    We should isolate people like this, to prevent them from inflicting retard on future generations.
     
  6. Blasphemy
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    Too bad Darwin's theory doesn't apply to humans.
     
  7. Brownmccoy
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    Luckily it does for the most extreme cases... "Hey, lets piss on this electric fence!" "Hey, I bet you $5 my head can fit in that alligator's mouth!"
     
  8. GeneralNemesis
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    myth busters proven busted if the fence is any normal distance away from your pissing stream due to it breaking up into small bubbles in the air and not being an actual stream for the electricity to pass through.
     
  9. Brownmccoy
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    Its still not an intelligent thing to do :p
     
  10. Klocknov
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    Well I will say I have pissed on electric fences many times and have only been shocked twice and once was from being pushed on to the bastard. Though this was always just an easy way for me to grab money since I knew how to do it, the joys of living on a farm.
     
  11. sid the rat
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    Sorry kids, people have been doing things like this a lot longer than south park has been on the air :rolleyes:

    All those poor little rodents... >.> I have to admit I would have a laugh at a nurse regaling me with a story about recovering one of their corpses, though :p Much love for the doctors and nurses of the world who take care of our dumb asses.. literally and figuratively <3
     
  12. Raiza
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    wow.... :S
     
  13. The Cox
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    ah hahahaha.. thats great..
     

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